I'm not sure what it means yet, and perhaps it's nothing, but I discovered the other day that the difference between how I approach knitting now that I've been doing it for a while as compared to how I approached it when I was just learning is something worth pondering.
When I first learned, I had this voracious, unstoppable hunger to learn and experiment. I wasn't afraid to make mistakes since I knew they were pretty much unavoidable. When knitting instructions read like Greek, I boldly forged ahead, convinced of my ability to figure it out simply by doing. The most exciting element during that time was that I dabbled in created my own wee designs for things. Nothing fancy, but I didn't run for a pattern for inspiration all the time.
Then all the sudden, I became a more competent knitter. The fear set in and so did the inhibition. Yarn I had on hand couldn't be used because, God forbid, it might be better served for another future project (read: I might screw it up). I got scared about experimenting. And worse, I got lazy. When a problem seemed insurmountable, the project got stashed in a bag, and I started developing unhealthy levels of shame.
Lately, though, now that the girls are older and I'm not feeling sapped to the very core, I've been reinvigorated to start some projects. I've always been a habitual starter in all of my areas of interest. (That explains the two-foot-high stack of books on my nightstand; I really am reading all of them.)
It feels good to knit an impromptu project out of a practical need. My new glamour-girl sunglasses were getting scratched in my handbag, so why not knit a case for them? I dug into the stash and found a funky blue yarn I'd bought ages ago and dove in. I've finished the knitting and now need to stitch it up. I've been having fun thinking about other ways to adorn the case so that it won't be overshadowed by the rhinestone-studded glasses.
I know I still have a long way to go in unpacking my hang-ups and just relaxing, but this feels like a positive first step.
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It's Gracie's turn to star in the Gratuitous Photo this episode.